I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize