Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
