my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
