why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
