Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
