CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
