i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Dick very happy bro
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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