that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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