My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
