Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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