Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
