And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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