so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
