I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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