Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
