i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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