were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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