I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
