First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
