I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
