He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
