I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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