He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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