wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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