I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize