i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
