More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
