All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
