I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
