Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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