she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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