do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
