FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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