At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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