I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
