On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
