Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
