From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
