Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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