do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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