You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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