K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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