Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My sheets look like a crime scene.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
