Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just puked most of my soul out..
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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