Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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