she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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