please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
