hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
