i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
