i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
