There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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