you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
