so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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