Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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