i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
