So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize