well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize