brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
the raccoons are back...
Randomize