he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
