i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
me + whiskey = a bad person
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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