I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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