Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
