Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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