Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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