he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
