I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize