The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
