i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
