So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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