okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
