If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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