here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
